Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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