i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
