You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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