On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
