so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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