Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
