can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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