i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
