I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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