STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
