He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
