I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
