And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
