i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
