I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
