Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
