Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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