Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
