We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
