she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
