its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
