Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
