i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
