I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
