Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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