I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
