does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
