Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
