Please don't use social media to get back at me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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