Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's rum buckets o'clock
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
