Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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