Banned from zoo.
Again?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
