Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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