a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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