Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
is that a dick in a sweater?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
