im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
