He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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