In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
