Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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