new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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