apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
