you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
