You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
