I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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