My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
