All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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