I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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