We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
