Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
