You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There's even glitter on my cock...
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