drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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