But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
