We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
